most days it doesn't work.

most days it doesn't work.

i touched PRESENT three times yesterday. i kept scrolling all three times. the touch didn't break the drift, didn't even slow it. the word was there; the rest of me wasn't. some days my hand finds the embroidery and the rest of me just keeps going.

some days the method catches once and i look up and zola is right there reaching for me. some days the method catches three times and the day feels different at 9pm. most days i don't notice the drift until something else makes me notice it: somebody talking to me, the phone running out of battery, the train arriving.

i didn't make this hoodie because the method works. i made it because the gap is short and i wanted something on my body for the small percentage of the time the method does work. one second between the reflex and the choice. that adds up.